update

I have spent the better part of this evening looking at old blog posts and smiling at old memories that would be gone forever had I not taken the time to record the day-to day. it's amazing how everyday occurrences, can turn into small treasures. I have not done a good job in the last year or so at posting these little moments and I feel like it really needs to happen.

        Today was the end of a 5 week frenzy. My sister Laurie was in town with her children for 5 weeks. She is a brave soul with much more innate patience than me. We had so much fun and wore our littles to a cousin soaked frazzle. She has exactly one week to adjust her kids back to a regular schedule so they can actually function when school starts. We have a little bit more time of summer, thank goodness. I'm not ready to go back to the grind of school and i really enjoy having my kids home.

       Sam is playing basketball just about everyday at the church gym and he is becoming really good. He is developing a really  great sense of humor. The other day we were all shooting at the gym. Sam got a rebound for Steve and instead of passing him the ball, he yelled, "suicide time! go and get it!" then he chucked the ball as far down the court he could. He has been also spending a lot of time playing video games. yep, I never thought I would allow it but somehow the video game monster has invaded my house. Steve and Sam are always working on their building up their football team on Madden. It's a whole language and world that I have no part of and I'm really okay with that. His teasing gene has kicked in. being one of 6 younger sisters of a brother, who teased relentlessly, I kept wondering when it would kick in. Boo does not let him get away with much. She is a feisty one. The fighting has been driving me a bit nutzo. Our family rule has always been the Golden rule. we were driving the other day and Sam was tickling Sophie and she was whining and crying for him to stop. When I implored him to knock it off, He told me he was just following the family rule because he, "likes to be tickled"

      Sophie is recovered from her bout of pneumonia and is getting ready for Kindergarten. Our next door neighbor is a preschool teacher and has allowed Sophie to go to all of her summer sessions for free. She is such a sweet lady.  Sophie told that she has a crush on a boy named Isaac. When I asked her if he was nice, she said yes, and then wanted to tell me a secret. She whispered to me, "I think he is hot" I did NOT like the sound of that coming from my 5 year old. When i asked her where she learned it she said "despicable me 2" awesome. Tonight, She was helping me make cookies but decided she wanted to try cook up something of her own. She got out a bowl and started mixing together the most random ingredients. Her concoction consisted of, Water, sugar, peanut butter, honey, crushed up pringles and cereal, fruit snacks, salsa, ketchup, and a LOT  of Mrs. Dash. it smelled... pungent. Sophie thought it was the funniest thing ever as she went around the house begging people to try it. Of course no one would take her up on it. Sophie has always been my adventurous eater. She decided she was going to taste her creation. She has milk standing by, so she could quickly rid her mouth of the flavor. She took a spoon full and said, "it's actually quite good." then she proceeded to chug her milk down.

     Miles is 18 months and pretty much everybody's favorite person in the house. He doesn't say much yet but he has very strong opinions and weird obsessions. He adores the vacuum. They are best friends. He loves pickles. And if you ever ask him if he is hungry he says, "ampppp...ampppp." which means "i want a pickle".  This kid does not play with toys except a ball. He mostly just wanders around whatever room I happen to be in and destroys things and searches for anything that looks neat/dangerous. He looooves scissors, like, adores them. There is a cupboard in the kitchen that's up high and he knows that's where i keep my scissors. at least 6 times a day he will point and whine, and say, "scizzzuhzzzzuhzzzuhzzzuhzzuhz" He knows he can't have them but he just wants you to pick him up and let him look at them. I'm not sure what to make of it. I guess Sammo's garbage can obsession never amounted to anything but Maybe he will become a hairstylist :) He has begun to climb things which has forced me to be more vigilant to keep him alive from day to day. He is starting to be mistaken for a girl because of his beautiful curls. there is not one part of me that cares. His curls are staying. His words so far are. light, dad, bah (ball, bottle) hot, hurt, pa. He says a lot of things that aren't the correct words, but I know what he means because I'm  his mama. Although, I wish he would say "mama"

       That's all, I blogged! not pictures but there is my record keeping and memory making for the week. i can do once a week right?
ps, I turn 30 on Saturday. It's weird but I really don't feel younger than 30. I feel like an lady sometimes.

Kid pictures

It was high time to get some pictures taken of my ever changing children.  My work Friend, Kristin has a great camera and we found a great spot and played Photographer for the afternoon. It was fun. I love these beautiful babes. 

"for records sake!!"

      It's about time that I typed something on this blog here. lets face it, I don't really need to go into the why's of not posting, because that would just be the same post every single month and I'm not so into redundancy. I don't have pictures but I do have me some words so here we go.

    Miles is 14 months. his first word was "light" and it is beyond precious how he says it. He really accentuates the"t" sound. Little man is exploring his world on his hands and knees. his most favorite thing to do is bolt toward an un-blocked staircase and look back giggling, hoping someone will chase him. lucky for me, there are 4 sets of stairs in my house. I wish this little munchkin would sleep a little better. Today, he literally took one 20 minute nap. This babe takes constant vigilance to care for and to keep alive. He has a flair for finding the most dangerous thing possible. He is relentless... or determined. He has great perseverance  He  has a thing for ears and earrings. and will not stop grabbing for them until he either has the earring out of my ear, and in his mouth, or I give up and take them out myself. He is growing up and changing at such a rapid pace and I know that's what kids do but in those moments, when this little babe of mine is settled, and calm, when he is breathing steadily with closed eyes, those are the moments when time seems to slow down. That is the time that I can focus on his fluttery eyelids and long eyelashes  I love to kiss the corner of his mouth and see him flinch his mouth into a little half smile while he sleeps. It's hard to not want to linger there a little too long and neglect all my other responsibilities  One of those responsibilities happens to come in a nearly 5 year old, ball of girl that is also changing at the speed of light. We are adults for so much of our life, I often wonder why childhood can't last just a few more years.

My Sophie. She is my best little sidekick. She is my shadow. She wants to be near me at all times lately. She cries heart-breakingly every time I leave for work. She loves to cook with me. She asks intelligent questions regarding the meal we are creating. She is such a great little taster. She is intensely curious about food and wants to have a sampling after each new ingredient. At dinner the other night, she said the prayer like she most often does. One thing she said was, "and please bless that no one will say, 'eww I don't like this food mom!' " She is always on my side. Girls need to stick together. She loves to play pretend. She plays dolls most of the time and she does all these great little accents. She does an awesome British accent. She calls it, talking in a "big sister" voice...?? She's awesome. She starts kindergarten this fall. She has grown so much in preschool this year. I'm devasted that this is happening, and at the same time I'm so excited to see her get bigger. Parenthood is such an emotional roller coaster.

Sam is as great as ever. His interests continue to be intense and all consuming and ever changing. He has developed a love of sports. It's a genuine one too. I thought at first he was mostly wanting to be like his dad. which very well may have been the case. but now, He is just all about it. He has become a card collector. He checked out a couple of books about card collecting at the library today, along with about 8 other, sports related books. He loves the Broncos. He loves Peyton Manning. When they lost in the playoffs this year... He was just so upset by it. He would burst into tears at random times throughout the next few days. He would say, "Mom, I just can't think about anything but the Broncos!!" Sad and oh so cute. In his stocking, we got him a little, mini Broncos football. I thought it was a waste of 6 dollars initially. We have so many balls. But he has loved that thing! He sleeps with it, takes it to school everyday. He takes it to scouts and will take any spare second to find someone to play catch with. He is always creating these little 3 minute football games or games of 500. This has been a big year for this boy. He has so much more confidence and so much less fear of things in general.

Post done!!

I was awaiting Christmas like a little kid this year. It was such a great Christmas season.  

Sophie, who is a believer, was so excited to go see Santa. On our way she exclaimed, "I bet he will be so amazed how big I got this year."

 I made Christmas Jammies for the first time ever and they turned out pretty good. A little huge, but that just means I won't have to do it next year. The fabric of the pants was from Steve's Grandmas stash. I found some treasures when she passed away. I'm a sucker for anything vintage and sentimental. 

 This, of course, was not miles first Christmas but it was our first with him. We are so lucky to have this little one year old. 

 Sophie, modelling for me.

 The kids sleppt til almost 8, I couldn't believe it. I was up with Miles, so I was just anxiously awaiting their anxious little bodies to roll out of bed. This picture is Sam's first look at his "big" present. 

 Sophie, looking downright giddy about her new dollhouse

 priceless

 I have a client that GAVE me that dollhouse. her daughter who has never been interested in dolls, has never played with it, so she gave it to me. Sophie is dying over it. It's in her room, close to her bed so she look at it as she falls asleep.

 priceless, yet again. This time the face is over broncos gear.

This is the first EVER family picture we've taken with all 5 of us. 

I feel like the luckiest girl in the world. It was such a good day.

instagramin' it

I haven't really picked up my camera in the last little while and now that I have discovered Instagram, I hardly blog anymore. So just for the sake of giving this little bloggy a little life. Here are my happenings in the world of social media. 

 Boy likes crawls around with a nerf dart in his mouth. I suppose it feels good on his sore little gums. His other favorite teether is a carrot. He get's downright giddy when I start peeling it. 

 A rare date night. I really like that we really like each other.

 Sophie is a fabulous big sister, she gets a little nutty and in his face sometimes. But most of the time she is the one that can get this boy to laugh like crazy. She can do almost nothing and will belly laugh. I have to tell her to stop whatever "nothing" it is that she is doing just so the boy can breath.

 She is so pretty

 and motherly

 When Miles likes what he's eating he smacks his lips and says "Mmmmm" He will barley tolerates sitting in his highchair, after a few minutes he lunges for me and my lap.

 Sophie in all her mad glory. She decided to try in Miles' onesie and put on a show. She kills me.

 At Wingers one night. This pickle on a stick kept him occupied the entire night. I was actually able to eat my food.

 This is my sweet Sam on my birthday. I'm so glad he still likes me! I dread the day.....

 We went to see some Christmas lights. These two have been fighting like crazy. I am constantly saying "do you love each other? Then treat each other like you do!" I love these moments when the love seems completely there.

 I stopped nursing miles at about 10 months. I was torn because this babe was such an easy nurser, but I was so done with having to pump. I have also been dealing with some moments of felling quite  glum. Postpartum depression sounds so clinical and heavy. I suppose in those extra "glum" moments, it is heavy. I was hoping that if I stopped nursing, That would help. It hasn't so far. It's interesting how new life experiences and trials give you such a different perspective and a higher level of enlightenment to those who suffer.

Sam and Soph being scary

I so did not accomplish this crazy 30 day blogging challenge. But I really need to make a good blogging effort. I need to do something that feels productive but also lazy, and maybe a little creative. I'm hoping to pull out of the "glums" It helps me to write/talk about it. I have no intention of making people feel uncomfortable or sorry for me. The more people I talk to it, I realize that I am in good company. So many women have dealt with depression at some point in their life, in different ways and for different reasons. I am generally very good at seeing the sunny side of things. There is always a silver lining to a situation. In the last year it feels as though, even though I know what the silver lining is I can't feel it, I can't touch it, It can't influence me. It's odd to feel this way. I've seen a doctor and been on some medicine, which at first felt like I was failing by taking a pill. Now, it's what has really helped me. I don't constantly feel on the verge of tears anymore. I don't feel like I am back to myself quite yet. I hope she is not gone forever. I am trying to force myself to do things that used to make me feel good. (like blogging) 

Here is to baby steps and to being influenced by the silver in the lining.

number 2

I already missed a day... awesome. I forget a lot of things. I don't really like that about myslef and I just wish I could be a little more organized. ANYWAY. Whenever I go to work, I chat with my client that I haven't seen in some months or so. The question that inevitably arises is, "what's new with you?" Often times I don't have much to say about that. The only things that seems to change are my kiddos. They change too fast and too often. Sam is as smart as ever. He said to me the opther day, "mom, I learned in school that the earth is covered in mostly water but I don't think that's true, Because underneath the oceans there is land, so the whole earth is technically covered in land." I had never thought of that way. what a cute boy.  

30 posts in 30 days??

I saw this challenge on good old Facebook (one of the reasons I don't blog much lately.) I thought it would be a good excuse to kick out some posts. Where I'm sure I can do the quantity, I'm not sure I can do the quality. Today what I have to say is,

DAMN HALLOWEEN CANDY